Any good jokes?

[Paper Plane]

steve

 

[efsk]

 

[Wayne]

The Wife is kicking me out because she caught me measuring the size of my Penis.
For the record it's the same length as her Sisters throat.

 

[Wayne]

I'm fed up to the back teeth of hearing all these Olympic Athletes on the telly whinging and moaning about the sacrifices they have made, the endless hours of training and not being able to drink alcohol and eat junk food.
What do they want...A fecking medal?

 

[Paper Plane]

steve

 

[Paper Plane]

steve

 

[Paper Plane]

steve

 

[Vacumatic]

 

[Missoni]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xAXDKfvaKo

 

[Vacumatic]

Just a quick note because visiting hour starts soon and Mrs Vac is bringing me some grapes and I think she is feeling a little guilty.

Yesterday she said to me, 'Look Vac, I have been into my wardrobe and I have found this from 25 years ago, it still fits'.

'What is it, a scarf?'

 

[Paper Plane]

steve

 

[Mike Smart]

A guy came to my door and said
do you want your shed re-tard
i said no thanks
so he took my shed

Some won’t get it

 

[N0ggie]

 

[JamieM]

 

[Mike Smart]

I used to be a comedian in an old folks home
they never understood a word i said
but they still p1ssed themselves