The English language: Favourite sayings, aphorisms, insults, ...

[bakerbarber]

My back teeth are floating.

I've got to see a man about a horse.




Do they make them in men's too?
It looks good on you though...

 

[Holyzeus]

I've got to see a man about a horse.

No,no,no, no
It’s, a man about a dog

 

[Nishy]

Does the pope poop in the woods? Smells like he shat in your mouth.

If I wanted a joke I would follow you into the john and watch you take a leak.

If you fell in poop you would still come out smelling of roses.

 

[Rufusdog]

Does the pope poop in the woods? Smells like he shat in your mouth.

If I wanted a joke I would follow you into the john and watch you take a leak.

If you fell in poop you would still come out smelling of roses.

To continue Nishy’s scatalogical theme:
‘If you were in a cesspool up to your chin, would you duck if I threw a rock at your head?’

 

[Salv]

When I was an apprentice bricklayer there was an Irish navy ground worker working on a building site I worked on said to me one morning, I saw you down town last night where you there.

 

[Dr Watson]

When I was an apprentice bricklayer there was an Irish navy ground worker working on a building site I worked on said to me one morning, I saw you down town last night where you there.

I worked with an Irish gent a few years ago who always answered the phone "Hello, is this yourself?"

 

[UKRob]

A fellow I played darts with saw me and a friend about town one week-end. The next time we met up at a darts-match he announced that he had seen us ‘daffodil hunting’ the week before. However, he shut his gob when I told everyone that we had found him.

For some reason the editor has changed Cnut to daffodil.

 

[Thug]

You have a face for radio.

 

[chrisbd]

"If wit was sh*t you'd be constipated".
"If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off".

One of my Dad's favourites to describe someone of little substance "he's all mouth and trousers".

 

[efsk]

Several cans short of a sixpack.
And not an insult, but a marvelous songtitle nonetheless, the five-knuckle-shuffle.

 

[Lann]

Gobshite

 

[bikerjohn666]

Shakespeare: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Boom!!!

 

[Batch300]

Yogi Berra - famous Baseball Player - was known for his quotes
1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
2. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.
3. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.
4. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
5. We made too many wrong mistakes.
6. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
7. I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.
8. Never answer an anonymous letter.

 

[bakerbarber]

"Whatever floats your boat."

There's many variations of that one.

 

[efsk]

More Shakespeare:
Yet she must die, else she’ll betray more men. Put out the light, and then put out the light.