Merkurologist
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I got some viagra eye drops and gave my wife a hard look.
Any good jokes?
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D
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Went in to Waitrose yesterday and exchanged some raisins for sultanas. For the bag of 100 raisins I got a bag of 400 sultanas.
I can't believe Waitrose's current exchange rate!
I can't believe Waitrose's current exchange rate!
Chico Winterton
Partisan
The girlfriend came home early yesterday and caught me in bed with Fatima Whitbread.
She screamed at me and I said- "It's not what it looks like..................................she really is a woman".
She screamed at me and I said- "It's not what it looks like..................................she really is a woman".
Merkurologist
Forum GOD!
Bloke goes bungee jumping with his wife. He goes first and all is well. She goes second and cracks her skull on the ground and is taken to hospital. In the back of the ambulance, bloke says to her "That'll teach you to lie about your weight!"
Merkurologist
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I can't remember whether I've got dyslexia or dyscalculia, it's definitely won of the three.
Merkurologist
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L'Oreal have announced a huge mens' hair products deal with Man Ute new signing Pogba . Unfortunately the deal has fallen through because he couldn't stop laughing when he tried to say ..... "Because I'm worth it " 
Merkurologist
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Today, I've felt calm, contented and cheerful. Tomorrow, I'm moving on to words beginning with D in my Learn Braille book.
D
Deleted member 30
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How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Place it in a microwave until its Bill Withers.
Place it in a microwave until its Bill Withers.
D
Deleted member 30
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What's the difference between a post box and an elephant?
Don't know?
Well I shan't be asking you to post my mail.
Don't know?
Well I shan't be asking you to post my mail.
Merkurologist
Forum GOD!
I once bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav. It was rubbish, kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart.
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